Monday, 15 March 2010

Tanya The Slut

Tanya Jane Whitehead-Lumby is the ugly saggy slag pictured above that has been fucked by more men than... probably no-one*.

Unemployed Tanya gave up a lucrative (£10k plus for lying on your back) job in a massage parlour in Castle Bromwich in 2009 to become employed by The BNP, but during the court case between Trevor Phillips and The BNP, as she was one of the three people (along with the chairman and deputy chairman) named on the lawsuit, she tactically resigned that job and BNP membership in order to avoid any guilt or blame.

Her husband, Richard, too resigned his job and membership in a 'united front' although seeing them together, its more like a 90/10 front as Richard is so fucking fat, and she is such a scrawny fucking bitch, but in truth, he was really fed up with having to work for money when he could claim  the same benefits and stay in bed all day, like the people he moaned about in his speeches to BNP members...

Now that the Lumbys have 'returned to the BNP fold' Tanya has returned to prostitution and now earns £10 per hour as a 'phone sex' hostess on a premium phone rate  phone number, where she talks about her specialist subject "SCAT" and is frequently seen publicly shitting on people...

Tanya likes to think that she is attractive to men, but her popularity with  them is only due to her willingness to drop her panties (when she is wearing them and not going 'commando') and bend over for anyone. Following a prolapsed womb, after a porno film stunt that went horribly wrong, her main  sexual pleasure is (like her stepson Benjamin Martin-Lumby, a closet homosexual) her aptitude in being able to take a cock up her arse.  Her husband Richard, on the other hand, has often been known to talk out of his arse, as in one BNP meeting, where he  bizarrely blamed the recent banking crisis on the 'peak oil crisis'.

  • In echoing real life, the TV series Gavin and Stacey used comments men make about Tanya in the first episode of season one, where Smithy says  to Gavin "'ave you got any johnnies? I ain't going in there bareback".
  • Tanya Whitehead-Lumby is only 44 but looks nearer to 74.
  • Tanya has appeared in over 200 hard-core porno films, most of which due to the graphic depiction of bestiality are still banned in every country in the world (apart from Mexico, Somalia and Liverpool)
  • Ben Martin Lumby was cautioned by police in 2008 when he was caught having sex with a man in public toilets at the Wheatsheaf underpass in Sheldon.
  • Richard Lumby supports his wife's promiscuity due to his own erectile dysfunction, that has persisted since 1981.
  • *Tanya estimates that she has been fucked by approximately 5 thousand men, and a further 75 domestic and farm animals and 2 women with strap-on dildos!
  • Tanya also buys her duracell batteries (for her rabbits) wholesale.

Friday, 26 February 2010

Tanya The "MILVO"

I'd originally thought that MILF or "Mother I'd Like (to) Fuck" (was a derogatory term applied to dirty old slags like Tanya Whitehead-Lumby, but apparently its a term of endearment given by younger post pubertal boys and other young guys who fantasize about shagging a vaginally prolapsed womb bearing granny.

So, on the urban dictionary I've found something more appropriate...

Tanya the MILVO... or "Mother I'd like to vomit on"... If you can get that close to Tania the Slut...